Akalover3's Rambles

i updated again, just btw.

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 16:20:59 GMT

okay I feel stupid today because I was browsing aimlessly through quizzes and it asked if I knew my gf's fav band. X_X and i had to say no, because I know what kind of music she likes, but not her ultimate fav or anything like that. I mean, I know flyleaf is high on the list...but is that your fav? i dunno...

random quizzes...

---

Who's your inner monster?

Ghost!

Your inner monster is a ghost. Ghosts roam the Earth to complete some unfinished business. You can't see or hear them, and that's why when you hear a bump in the night, or see something move randomly, it makes it all the scarier.

---

What's Your Relationship Problem? (For Teens)

There is no problem with your relationship! Your relationship is perfectly healthy and normal. Don't fret over it. :)

(See? Quiz says so. We're good. ;) )

---

How much do you like him/her?

IN LOVE

You are in love with them. Try asking them out (if you haven't already) or to the dance. Don't give up on your relationship! You can never have too many boyfriends/girlfriends before you find who you're looking for.

---
What is your Animal Counterpart?

You're a Raven!

Dark and mysterious, you like to hang out with people like you, or, you might not hanging out with anyone at all.but you have your soft spots for that someone you don't know you like but you do like neverless. You can love and hate all the same but hold grudges. Thats a good side and a bad side of you. You can get into arguments and win most of the time but will need to rely on your friends, not the ones you think are cool because they are like you, but the ones that you need and the ones that need you, because you and them support each other. Thats a pert you need to remember.

---

What color does your relationship represent?

Your relationship represents the color: pink. The relationship you are in with this person is truely special....It seems meant to be!

o.0?

---

And because NO ONE deserves to die listening to a song about the Bradys...

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY: yukito, yukitokun........................yuyukun. X_X

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU'VE HAD: akalover3, deepmusic, and makimaki(when I was like eight my mom made me my first email).

THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 33 MINUTES: browsed the internet, poked my cat, and checked my email

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: ...music?

THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: my stupid fears, my loss for words, my lame excuses for mistakes. X_X she was right. this question fails

THREE PARTS OF YOUR ORIGINS: japanese and maybe a little bit of British way back in the genealogy

THREE THINGS YOU'RE AFRAID OF: screwing up, the return of unspeakable circumstances that never go away, some ways of being touched.

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW: pants shirt jacket

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS: gf. music. shower.(to help keep the former)

THREE IMPORTANT OBJECTS: gf. music. shower.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS: dir en grey, despairsray, gackt, currently.

THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY: kisses??

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT: Hard to decide. X_X Lately I listen to 'I Will Possess Your Heart' by Deathcab for Cutie, 'Forbidden' by Despairsray, and this other one called 'Zombie'.

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS: college, i guess. and different things with gf. ;)

THREE THINGS YOU REGRET: Not seeing where it was going. the things i said. the things i did.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP: love, kisses, and comfort.

THREE IMPORTANT THINGS YOU'RE GIVING TO THE WORLD: ....really cant think of anything.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE: Im named after my father. I learned to drive a car three years before I legally should have. i draw manga in my spare time.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX: eyes, hair, smile.

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO: whistle, go without music for a day, go without gf.

THREE THINGS YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST: innocence, simplicity, and lollipops.

THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE: gf. kisses. gf.(the one that says 'etoooo')

THREE REASONS WHY YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE: because my mother raised me that way, because my father didn't, and because the world sucks.

THREE OF YOU YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES: takin pics of gf when shes not lookin. makin music, and makin out.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW: <_< THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING: music, something math-related, hobo THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR HOLIDAY: japan or england. THREE CARTOON CHARACTERS: bugs bunny, the martian, and...uh...scooby doo, i gues. THREE BOY’S NAMES: ....? THREE GIRL'S NAMES: ..... THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: eat something no one else would. win. play before over a thousand people. THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ OR DIE PAINFULLY: well erin already did it, but cassie and aidousan have to.

I Hear That Voice, The Mutual Bells

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 22:16:25 GMT

Happy Birthday, Aidousan.

We all know you're crazy. And that despite getting older in years, you'll never really age. :)

I sent you a birthday gift, but I get the feeling you won't open it for awhile. Ah, well.

Weekend Without Pain Is Weekend Without Care

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 16:02:01 GMT

Sometimes you notice. Sometimes you notice that you didn't notice before, and that makes it all worse. Love is pain, I think.

A friend from school asked me to go with them to this little concert/showing thing this weekend. Decided I might as well. Mom's been complaining of 'lethargy' again, which gets really annoying after awhile. She doesn't even really care - she's been busy with dad. Yeah...good luck with that, mom. I'm sick of playing that old record again. Didn't know I knew what a record WAS, did you?

Meh, anyways. The concert was pretty cool. It was wacky duo who played even wackier music. Couldn't hear the music too well over the screams of the fans, but that might be because they had no mics or amps set up. Maybe I'll look into a couple of their albums.

Found myself up all night organizing my files on my computer. I think I might be coming down with something. I NEVER organize my files on my computer. It's like cleaning my room - it's against an unwritten teenage law. I'm not too worried, though. My room is still physically a mess, even if it's taking a significantly lower amount of time to find my pics.

Started the first drafts of a couple of songs this week, but I'm nowhere near satisfied with them yet. My music-writing style is time-consuming, which is the way I like it. I'll write a rough draft, add the right lyrics, and end up turning the whole thing inside out until it gets in the same vicinity of what I intended to get from it. That irritated the band enormously, so I stopped showing them the songs until I was done. They kept insisting it was 'fine the way it was' and crap like that. Which we both know was them trying to slack out on me. X)

My mom keeps playing sappy old love songs over the radio in the kitchen. Especially that one about sparrows. "Two sparrows in a hurricane, the world says they'll never make it, love says they will." Or something like that. I usually don't care what she listens to, since I get that she'd love to pretend that music fixes life problems, so you should listen to only optimistic, happy music. I beg to differ. But the problem here is that the songs are getting stuck in my head. So much that I'm finding myself humming them while doing my homework, dang it. X _ X

I'm not bitter against you - - - just your face. And the memories.

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 04:48:00 GMT

I can't explain this to her.

I can't explain it to me.

But if a dance is more than a dance, then is a kiss more than a kiss?

If silence is golden, are screams rusted metal?

If promises are broken, what happens to the memories? Do those shatter?

I'm not going to make anymore promises. And the memories might escape from you one day, and you can be happy again without me. Maybe I'll hold on to the memories so the image of you crying won't be in vain.

I can't even say I told you so. Because that doesn't work. What the heck does yesterday's warning mean today anyways? You'd still do it. I'd still do it. It doesn't change anything.

Maybe I didn't realize that letting myself break means those rough edges of mine cut into others, the closer I get. Maybe asking someone to trust me and listen was asking too much.

To hell with you, cupid. Take your freaking arrows and shove them in someone else's eye.

That is all. The dance was stupid. And apparently nobody in this world can resist thinking the worst of me, it's just too easy I guess. Maybe I just thought it'd be different this time around, I dunno. Whatever.

So desu ka...

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 03:41:57 GMT

And so it is...

Echan and Aidousan have now met internetally..

And only God knows how much spam the two of them are creating. 0.o Let's just hope Aidousan doesn't dig up a whole bunch of embarrassing stuff...man, I'm trying to impress this girl, can you get that? Hm??

Which reminds me. Aidousan. Thanks for telling me about Yumi. You're mean. *glare*

Hey, boys and girls! Guess what? Gossip Girl updated! [smiles cheesy as all the fans scream in excitement]

OR NOT.

And I quote:
Oh, and YM, go back to Japan. Honestly, I really hate him. He always acts like he's so much better than everyone else, even though he admits that he's a leper and stuff. But still. His attitude...it's like he thinks he's above the whole social system, when HE'S NOT. No one is. Except for, like, God. Honestly, why can't these people just go away?

(a) If I could just up and go back to Japan, I would, chick. Not everyone's worst problem is finding out what shampoo Icy Queen uses.
(b) Stop saying that, it's getting lame. I DON'T act like I'm so much better than everyone else. I don't know where the freak you're getting this impression. Could it be...oh, gosh, I dunno...that I don't CARE if you like me or not? That maybe all your make-believe threats and snide remarks actually don't pierce my heart like you wish it did? Jeez, ever thought that you were the annoying one, acting like you're so awesome and untouchable? I had my bit of amusement with you, now just leave me the f alone. The whole kiss thing with Queenie Queen was the only real dirt you've had on me, and everyone can tell you that's OLD NEWS.

Anyway, he's on suicide watch, apparently. Like, he wrote some random emo suicidal story, and so now teachers are watching out for possible suicidal tendencies. If I were that annoying, I'd be suicidal too.

For the record, it was an English paper, and I did exactly what I was told to do. You guys just have your panties on too tight, is all. As if you all aren't compensating in your own ways, too.

Meh, but enough of that. There's this dance thing coming up, and Echan and I are going. Apparently it's a Masquerade thing, which could be fun, but it probably won't be all that jazzy. At least I'll have my GF on my arm to bounce up and down and send me a bodacious smile and stuff.

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 00:12:39 GMT

I love my GF.

I hate school.

That is all.

More Meme Things

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 20:33:00 GMT

You are most like: Laid Back
You are easy to please as long as your special someone is around. But don't forget that a touch of romance is always appreciated.
Take this quiz: What kind of boyfriend or girlfriend are you?
Visit Toys For Your Blog.com for more blog quizzes

You are most like:

Laid Back

You are easy to please as long as your special someone is around. But don't forget that a touch of romance is always appreciated.

Take this quiz: What kind of boyfriend or girlfriend are you?

Visit Toys For Your Blog.com for more blog quizzes

Lovely. I never would have guessed.

And because my GF posted them...

Type your name in my comments.
Once you do that, this is what I'll do for you...

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my VERY first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. If you play, you MUST post this on yours.

This is gonna be weird.

X . X So...freaking...long...

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 21:22:56 GMT

Only for my girl. So deal with it.

Info
[ ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[ ] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[ ] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily.
[X] I wish my hair was a different color.(Green are red are nice colors)
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[ ] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ] I have/I've had braces.
[X] I wear glasses(only when I read)
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[X] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.(no, I'm not being pompous. It was freaky. X_x)
[ ] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[X] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[ ] My biological parents are together.(ha!)
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[/] I want to have kids someday. (it's not out of the question, but it's not in my current plans..so half an X?
[ ] I've lost a child.(if you count myself)

School/Work
[X] I'm in school
[ ] I have a job
[X] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[X] I almost always do my homework.(Feh. Thanks, mom. For your wonderful habits. And nagging.)
[X] I've missed a week or more of school.(huzzah for touring, no matter how short.)
[X] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year
[ ] I've stolen something from my job
[ ] I've been fired.

Embarrassment
[ ] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[ ] I've snorted while laughing.
[X] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[X] I've glued my hand to something.(To my hand. O_o)
[X] I've had my pants rip in public.(only the pant leg, thank goodness)

Health
[X] I was born with a disease/impairment (being born was the non-diseased part. The rest of it. Ha.)
[X] I've gotten stitches/staples.
[X] I've broken a bone (my left arm and my nose, though my nose doesn't count)
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[X] I've sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[/] I had a serious surgery.(Serious? It's just a flesh wound.)
[X] I've had chicken pox.(Eleven years old. Fun.)
[ ] I've had measles

Traveling
[X] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[X] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[X] I've been to Japan.(sorta. ;) )
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.

Experiences
[X] I've gotten lost in my city. (All of them. I have a terrible sense of direction)
[ ] I've seen a shooting star.
[ ] I've wished on a shooting star
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[ ] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[ ] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[ ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts. (*grimaces*)
[X] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[X] I've played spin the bottle.(That was one fun evening. [/sarcasm])
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour. (Never thought to try that...)
[X] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been Skiing.
[X] I've been in a play.
[ ] I've met someone in person from myspace.
[X] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[X] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken.
[X] I've played a prank on someone. (*starts laughing*)
[X] I've ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[X] I've eaten sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
[ ] I'm single
[X] I'm in a relationship ( ;) )
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[X] I've gone on a blind date. (for the record, I didn't know it was a blind date until my 'friends' raced out of the building, shoving me towards the girl I'd just been introduced to. X_X I ended up having to explain things to her. She started crying.)
[/] I've been the dumped more than the dumper. (I say these things equal out.)
[X] I miss someone right now.
[/] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.(Heh.)
[X] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[X] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't. (...she hates me now.)
[X] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[X] I've kept something from a past relationship. (A beanie baby. Ha. It's a weird purple thing)
[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex. (O_O)
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[/] I am a cuddler. (I cuddle only with those I deem worthy.)
[X] I've been kissed in the rain.
[X] I've hugged a stranger.(See: I've been told I'm attractive by a stranger. Creepy.)
[ ] I have kissed a stranger. (Thank God, no.)

I officially dislike that portion of the meme.

Honesty/Crime
[X] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[X] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[X] I've snuck out of my house.
[X] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[X] I am keeping a secret from the world. (I'll die before I tell. Mwhaha)
[X] I've cheated while playing a game.(Only on video games. ;) )
[ ] I've cheated on a test.
[X] I've run a red light.(Oops!)
[X] I've been suspended from school.(Only once, mom. I swear!)
[ ] I've witnessed a crime.
[X] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.(Not yet.)

Drugs/Alcohol
[X] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[X] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I've smoked weed
[ ] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[X] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.(It was a dare. And they were kid's vitamins. See above: consumed alcohol and passed out from drinking. All the same.)
[/] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.(only by my friends)
[ ] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
[X] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[X] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.(It's commonly called 'Summer')
[X] I've hurt myself on purpose. (LOL...see above: drunk.)
[X] I've woken up crying.

Death and Suicide
[ ] I'm afraid of dying.
[X] I hate funerals. (I think they're stupid.)
[X] I've seen someone dying.
[X] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[X] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[/] I've planned my own suicide. (Just thought about it, I guess. If I had to go, I'd go out strapped to a firework or something like that, eh?)
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.
[ ] This tag scares me.(It's weird more than anything)

Materialism
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[X] I own an iPod or MP3 player. (Since I was four)
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece. (....)
[X] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[ ] I own something from The Gap.
[ ] I own something I got on e-bay.
[X] I own something from Abercrombie. (X_X...shutup.)

Random
[X] I can sing well.(I can hypnotize you with my voice. ;) )
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[ ] I open up to others easily. (HA! Not.)
[ ] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs. (It's not murder. It's the natural order of things.)
[X] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme. (*glare of doom*)
[X] I curse regularly.(I don't scream it out for attention like some people do, though. And I've cut back since my mother thwacked me with her laptop.)
[X] I sing in the shower. (I curse regularly in the shower, too.)
[ ] I am a morning person. (X_X)
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone. (Pirate all the way, love.)
[ ] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic. (I just like Tennis.)
[/] I twirl my hair. (My GF does it for me. ;) )
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I love being neat. (X_X)
[ ] I love Spam (KILL THE SPAM)
[X] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day (It was an awesome 48 hours afterward)
[ ] I bake well. (I burn water. How, I don't know. I also turn yogurt into a crisp when I touch it. And milk curdles when I look at it.)
[X] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue. (Red is second only to black.)
[ ] I've worn pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[X] I know how to shoot a gun.
[X] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS. (...)
[ ] I laugh at my own jokes.
[ ] I eat fast food weekly.
[X] I believe in ghosts.(I believe in you, Casper!)
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[X] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class. (My P.E. teacher. She was weird...and she had these buggy eyes that creeped everyone out. X_X)
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.(Let them come...)
[X] I am really ticklish. (I guess you have to be honest on this one. I'm only ticklish in one spot, though. And that I'll never tell.)
[X] I bite my nails.
[X] I play video games.
[/] I'm good at remembering names.
[ ] I'm good at remembering dates.
[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.(I will make music, wherever I am)

ETA:

Five things about yourself:

1. I am bilingual

2. Despite being bilingual, I am usually at a loss for words.

3. Music is my life.

4. I like kissing. ;)

5. I don't open up easily. My grandfather once called me a clam. X_x

Six ways to win your heart:

1. I like kissing. ;)

2. ...

3. ...

4. No, really. I like kissing!

5. Give me awesome music.

6. Bring me goodies.

Five things that cross your mind a lot:

1. "Gosh, this floor is shiny!" O_O

2. "Maybe I should change the keys of the bridge a half step up..."

3. "Why me!?"

4. "That's pathetic."

5. "God my girlfriend's hot."

Hey, you asked!

Six things you wish you never had to do:

1. Look at certain faces again. Thanks for the memories

2. Break people's hearts.

3. Say, "Get out of my life."

4. Do scales. X_X

5. Eat lettuce. Seriously, you eat leaves?!

6. See my dad.

Five turn offs:

1. Greasy hands/hair.

2. The color pink.

3. Bad breath.

4. Expensive handbags.

5. Whiners.

Six turn ons:

1. Eyes.

2. Hair.

3. Voice.

4. Smile.

5. Kisses. ;)

6. Music.

Five wishes for your future:

1. To be able to make a living doing what I love best - music.

2. To know I'll always have the person I love by my side.

3. Kisses. ;)

4. The wealth to avoid whoever I want.

5. More kisses. ;)

Two things you want to do before you die:

1. Set a city on fire.

2. Poke the President.

One possession you could not live without:

1. My ipod.

That okay?

Being repetitive makes life dull...

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 19:25:17 GMT

Anyone notice that lately there's been a lot of people using the word 'self-righteous' to death? I mean, jeez...can someone find us a thesaurus or something? Soon everyone will be using it so much we'll forget what it's real meaning is, and think it just means 'everyone but me and my select choice of people'.

Self-Righteous: convinced of one's own righteousness especially in contrast with the actions and beliefs of others : narrow-mindedly moralistic

Yeah, I guess I know some people who fit that description. But there's also been some people who haven't deserved that title. Ah, well...*shrug* The thing I'm surprised with is the fact that I haven't heard anyone calling me self-righteous. What? Poor leper me? *makes pout face* The one who is apparently - and this I've heard from several sources - 'trying to act cooler than he is'? Aw...Gossip Girl, you offend me and my leperdom. I tried so hard to make you hate me, too. Which is funny, because I know I've given you tons to write about, haven't I? (So would that mean you really love me?) The cruel hearted one that I am, I must have pushed so many rules and boundaries and stomped on social elegance a thousand times over. Well, let me tell you, I'm not very graceful.

Man, in speaking of drama...had a fight with my GF already. One of the serious negatives of being a leper is that you tend to drag others down. I mean, before, flying solo, that's no big deal. So I have a little extra space in the hallways or something...but when it's dragging down friends...jeez, that makes me feel bad for them. Maybe it'd be better if they found someone higher on that stupid freaking social ladder? Just high enough so that they aren't Gossip Girl's first target? Luckily we made up, and we're going to talk about some things, see how it goes. I've been having a real great time with her, but I don't want her to get hurt if a whole crossfire thing goes on with me and the 'higher ups'.

Which gives me a mental image of white-robed beings tossing lightning bolts at me, but okay...

I guess I ought to follow Gossip Girl more closely, so at least I know why people are ticked at me now... Ugh.

Heard people say I have no social tact. Feh. Well, if living in Brooklyn and not wanting to play games when I'd rather play music anyway makes me tactless, I guess that's alright. If you'd like to elaborate(because I'm sure you're following my LJ now...) then go right ahead.

EDIT: Also heard that when Willy boy kissed Cchan, he mimicked my every movement to drive his point further...ignoring the fact that he kissed her to offhandedly get back at me, I have to ask, why on earth was he watching me so close? I mean, seriously, in Gossip Girl's own words, "He must've recorded it on video and watched it a million times, because it was absolutely exactly the same. Evil-chuckle-between-breaths and everything." (Ha ha...evil chuckle) That either means he still really likes Queenie, he wanted to use details against me, or he was looking for tips on either what to do or not do. I dunno. Maybe I'm thinking too deeply on it. I just wish the whole deal with freaking disappear.

Be Quick Or Be Dead

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 05:24:52 GMT

I only have a moment to say, "What The Freak?!"

I finally got around to checking out that Gossip Girl chick, look at some of her entries. mostly because a girl I know at school mentioned that she talked about me some.

Is it just me, or am I a subject of negative attention to Gossip Girl? Must be just me, then. Anyways, found out that some freaking way, she got ahold of my LJ. How, I guess I'll never know. Because until E-chan and C-chan found my LJ, I hadn't even told anyone at B-R that I had one. X_X Someone must have followed a little trail or something. Brilliant work. I think. Maybe I'd find it cooler of her if it wasn't kind of creepy. Leave me out of your whole Queen B thing, if you please, Gossip Girl. Because obviously if we're at totally opposite ends on your pretty little social ladder, I'd be a total idiot(which is baka in Japanese, for those of you who might find that tidbit useful) if I was planning to sweep an Queen encased in Ice off her feet. *rolls eyes* Anything for drama though, right? Whatever...

Anyways, of course she'd have to pick on a guy because he said he might be crushing on a chick. Big news there, BTW. Ha...Like it'll ever come to a head! And apparently I've been one of those stereotypical guys that doesn't see a girl that likes him when she's right under his nose, or something like that. Of course, the whole school finds out, and no one clues said guy, or even considers it as something he might want to know. Brilliant, guys. I'm feeling the love there. We'll have to see where that one goes, because she's let me know, thankfully.

Apologized to Icy Queen. She took it better than I thought, actually. Dunno what that means, exactly, but it should prove kind of interesting.

*is still annoyed at Gossip Girl finding his LJ* To be honest? I don't exactly like the idea of a chick pulling apart my words, is all. Very weird. But you know what? I guess I don't have anything to hide at this point, so what can she do to me? Gossip is gossip, after all.

Heard that E-chan's band is missing a bassist.

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.
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Part of me REALLY wants to get back on the music scene again, but part of me REALLY doesn't want to go there. I mean...ack...forget it. Doesn't matter anyways. They'll probably find someone soon enough. Might be fun to actually get around to that jam session E-chan and I talked about, though. We could get some sodas and have a party.

New Music, New Resolve

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:51:07 GMT

Okay, so I chatted with an old friend of mine this afternoon, and she suggested I just admit to Icy Queen that I shouldn't have kissed her. My first reacton was to tell her that only the nerds explain to Queens that they were totally in the wrong and should be beheaded(because Queens come with this information already in their pretty little heads). Which was her wording, by the way... That I was 'totally wrong and should be beheaded. Except she didn't say 'head'. >_> Apparently my ex has some anger problems, mostly directed at me. Heh...

Anyways, so somehow she's convinced me that the best thing to do would be to take care of this in my traditional, blunt way. Brilliant. I guess a note would make me a dork, and to try and get her to talk to me in private is definitely out...she may not be touched, and to have the nasty, filthy foreigner touch her would be a no-no. And likely to get me killed. That means I have to do it in the open, someplace we would cross paths...

Which means smack in the middle of the hallways. Freaking amazing. [sigh] But certain things must be done. I am actually sorry. It's starting to get annoying, really. I'm not good at this 'express yourself in a nice way' stuff. I attribute it to the fact that music has always been an easy way for me to vent out all my emotions. You get quite a range, really. Mad, sad, happy, cool..and I'm not GOOD at talking. Put a melody to it and I'm cool with it. Otherwise, I'm a fish out of water.

In speaking of expressing emotions well, E-chan just showed me one of her songs she's going to play at the talent show. Didn't know how exactly to tell her how awesome it was, but I feel like I did it wrong. Ah, well...as the guitarist says, 'practice makes perfect'. Guess I should put the guitar down and start practicing life a little.

Dude, that sounded way deeper than I meant it. X_X

I just listened to a new band, called After Forever. Looks pretty rocking and hardcore. ^_^ And...um...I think that's all I have to say.

I officially hate Ballantyne Rankin

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 01:00:45 GMT

I'm pretty good at putting up a front of indifference, if I do say so myself.

But jeez....I'm actually really, really regretting that kiss in the hallways with Icy Queen. It made so much sense, then, you know? But now even the demotion to the bottom of the social ladder isn't enough to make up for it.

Okay, so I'm totally going to open up and be all 'barren soul' to you, my nameless and faceless readers. I get irritated by people who suddenly tell their life story to anyone nearby who listens, but I get 10,000 times more irritated by it when I do it myself. Not that I've done that to anyone at this school, but whatever.

See, when I first came to the school, I made a promise to myself. I wasn't going to be the jerk I was before(and all my old friends go NO WAAAY!! WHO IS THIS WEIRDO WITH AWESOME HAIR!?). That sounds cheesy and very self-righteous, but it's the simplest way I can think to say what I mean. I know I hurt people, but mostly myself. I hate the person I was, and I don't want that for myself anymore.

It just sucks, is all. Especially when I think I'm starting to totally dig this girl at school - who I won't specify. Ie... - and the biggest reason she won't even consider me is because I'm low on a social ladder. Heh...very 'teenage drama', isn't it? Haha..well, life has a way of doing that sometimes. I kinda wish I could rewind and see what it would have been like if I hadn't done the kiss with Icy Queen. What if I had become decent in her eyes? Would I have a chance with this chick(who I will specify as very hot, BTW.)

But I regret what I did in the halls. Kind of. See, my reasons for it were kind of screwed up at the time. I was angry because I wanted to give Blair a wake-up call. I've seen her type, and with the move and everything, I wanted something good to come out of it. I think it has, though. Through the ashes, or something cheesy like that.

Now, she's not totally better, but things are starting to change for her. I like that. Maybe I'll write a song about it -- who knows? Anyways, I want to tell her sorry, but if I do, freaking Gossip Girl will hear about it and my rep as the nonchalant jerk will be totally screwed up. After all the times I came so close to apologizing to her in the hallways and stopped myself -- no way.

Meh. I guess I'll just go to the movies or something this weekend. I need something mindless to do. And the recent movies coming out are definitely mindless. X_X Why can't there be more Peter Jacksons in the world?

Well, American movies are still pretty cool, I have to admit. It's just that there's so many of them, people stop being creative and all.

7/9/08

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 16:41:10 GMT

Okay, guys. Something is seriously wrong with the world.

Why am I in freaking U.S. of A?

Why has Myriad of Horrors broken up?! (double whys on this one)

Why do I feel really alone?

Why does the majority of the school suddenly decide I'm a creepy stalker?

And why does it feel like there are a lot of lower peeps on the social scale hovering around me? Meh...that one must be just my untapped charm skeelz. ;)

Alright, so somehow, I lost the password to my old LJ, and I can't seem to access my email, especially with the terrible internet that comes with our apartment building. Dang, I miss high speed internet. X_X It was my choice, though. I could have had one of those shiny apartment buildings, but then I would have been living in the same lot as Icy Queen. That would have been brilliant. Mom didn't understand why I was so eager to stay in our temporary home -- she says it has to do with the fact that E-chan lives down the hall. *rolls eyes* She's awesome and all that, but jeez, mom...lay off for awhile. It's in her nature, though. So I guess I'll forgive her again.

Man, I hope all my bandmates can find my LJ. It seems like it's been years since I left!

Okies, in other news, met some new peeps at friends. The usual - made some friends, saw some kawaii-ness, made enemies. You know me... XD

People Who Decided They Hate Me, Lawlz -- Icy Queen, Her Dearly Beloved Shadow(AKA - Icy King), Willy Billy, and That Girl. You know. The one that loathes me because I am a social leper, and for little reason besides that. Strange was the day I received an attempt at a snarky retort because I tried to give back a memory card that she had dropped. X_X Jeez. Tough crowds.

People Who Decided They Like Me, Harhar -- T-kun, C-chan, E-chan, Bells-chan,(because I can't call her B-chan) K-chan.

Everyone else -- watch out, AkaLover3 is cooooming!

Man, I'm so freaking bored, I'm becoming lame.